There are a lot of jobs in the world that many swear cause stress, cause annoyances, or frequently wish they could quit.
For many people who have ill-behaved children; you probably sometimes wish that you could return your little angel back to wherever you think they came (Ahem... Heaven or Hell...) and be a lone wolf all over again!
Parenting can be awesome. Many parents-especially those who have been at the whole parenting thing for a while may find it's hard not to lose your temper, know that your patience is being tested, or braved the storms of a tantrum countless times. Sometimes you really don't know what to do, until you know you will probably do something desperate.
Children are naturally curious, and they love to learn. Children like and need consistent parents to teach them what the rules are-the safeguarding principals like: Do not talk to strangers, do not play in the street, or use a tissue to remove boogers-not your fingers. Whatever the rules may be, kids want to be independent because they want to make everyone proud of how grown up they are. Sometimes parents tell their kids "no" and kids will eventually want to learn how to state their wants and refusals as well. They learn to argue or communicate their wants by watching how the people in their environments do it- and even from the earliest of child ages, small babes will demonstrate what they think adults do through play-even if they can't talk, they will mimic the voice fluctuations, personalities and habits they observe from those who are teaching them and raising them all the time.
Magic Tricks (Use as frequently as necessary)
1. Always be consistent. Kids know how to manipulate to get what they want. Once kids are expected and taught to talk about what they want, they play dumb and wait to see how many times you have to tell them not to do something. They know they're cute, and they will use it to advantage. This game ends quickly if you do not play along or plead with your child to make up their mind and just please... please... PLEASE! Stop the whining, screaming and crying! If you create a punishment, always follow through the first time. If they go to time out, enforce it. No bending or waiting.
2. Be stern. Sometimes communicating urgency is in how you say it. Don't overuse the stern voice, but let your kids know that you are the kind of parent that doesn't wait on kids who act out. You are a parent, not a pushover. If a child throws a toy at the wall, take it away and tell them that they can't have that toy for a week. Put it somewhere where they can see, so they can remember why they are being disciplined. If the child doesn't care about that toy, take away another luxury they love... Could be a blanket or doing unpleasant chores.
3. Some parents try to befriend their child and influence them in this fashion. Don't be an idiot, they need another child to be their friends. Kids need discipline when they are naughty. Period. Many parents don't like to play the stern disciplinary parent, until they have lost their own temper and throw the kid over the knee with spankings that turn the butt red. By the way, this is one you should punish yourself if that happens, because that is called child abuse. Do not spank children until their butt is sore.
4. Make sure all punishments are stressed as necessary because mommy or daddy is serious and cares strongly about the child. Show love. Show them that you do not want to make hurt feelings or cause crying or tantrums. If you show lots of love following a disciplinary action to a violation or offense, the child isn't stupid, they will learn to respect you and love you for helping them learn the boundaries that they would be testing to begin with. Appropriate punishments do not involve physical harm or demeaning comments. All punishments should be a removal of a privilege, or the increase in responsibilities-like not attending a play date to wash the dishes or to fold sock mountain in the laundry pile. Like choice life has, there are consequences. Help children understand consequences and why they are there.
5. What do I do if my child is a living monster and you need to fix it? Create rules, structure and consequences. Do not "give chances" or beg your child to say what they want so that you will give them their every whim and demand. Be consistent and stick to your guns. If you tell a child that you aren't driving them to a play date because they broke your favorite lamp, then don't threaten it, do it! If they tear off their clothes, scream, mess their room, or cry about it for 500 hours- stay strong and do not give in. When they calm down, you may help the child start cleaning their mess so they know how to do it, but then expect and require the responsibility for them to clean it themselves. Don't let them have privileges until they do it! There are no reported cases of a child crying itself to death, because you didn't buy the sugar cereal they wanted at the store- keep going and be unwavering. Kids get tired and become very grateful after the tantrums end.
6. When kids are being well-behaved, let them know how you love their grown-up behavior, that they learn to ask nicely for what they want and patiently wait and thank others for what they are given with gracious gratitude. Speak kindly. Avoid offensive language and profanities, and reward your child if you promise them rewards. It's important to always follow through with punishments and rewards consistently. Keep it up, and you will be surprised how quickly the rotten little devil transforms into an angel again! If you have a difficult child that this doesn't necessarily work for, then do not give so many choices or control. Stop asking for what the child wants- Kids with too much power turn into little Nazis. Good luck and happy parenting!
