Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Perspective Paints
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
In sickness and in health... or not...
Should you get married? You've been seeing someone and don't know if the probability of your marriage is likely to succeed. You reached that point in your relationship when it's make it or break it; what do you do? Ask yourself these questions:
*Is this person making me happy? This one is a hard one for people to answer because they like spending time, but they do not feel good about the person; like an addiction or habit. If the person treats you respect and never abuses you emotionally, mentally, physically, etc. You might just have the one! Can you force that smile off your face when the person on your mind walks into the room? If you can answer "YES", then you are off to a great start!
*Does this person respect their parents, waiters, or elders? If the relationship is sincere, people will let you know. If the person is putting on a show for you-then the people be used will let you know their 'best behavior' is not their normal behavior. We all know that sometimes older people or parents can be pushy and hovering. Perhaps, the bad day the waiter is having can give bad vibes. If you do not see your lover treating the busy working class people as inferior without reasonable cause, then that is a good sign that you found someone sincerely good and not just an actor. If the older people tell you to take care of this person that have known them their whole life, then you found a lovable person worth claiming yours!
*Is this person honest and trusting to you? I'm not saying you have to marry a murderer if you found one, but you want your lover to admit pornography, cheating, and all other such things. It still is a red flag, but it is better to know their tendencies so that they are not tempted to try something bad without your knowledge. It prepares you for the worst that is ahead. Being completely open about flaws is an extremely good sign, and when someone entrusts you with something so personal and sensitive; it means they trust you and want to know that you can help them through. While they need to be good for you; are you good enough to admit what's your flaws? There is no such thing as the perfect person, but there is such thing as the perfect person for you. We are all different, but we can all be complimentary to another person. You've heard the cute little matchmaking phrases like; "We are like PB&J" or "We are like salt and pepper".
*Is there equality in your relationship? You don't get to expect to be treated royally if you don't treat your lover like a royal. End of Story! You get just as much say in decisions as they do. One person may be more convincing than the other, but you have to be able to respectfully compromise and make decisions together.
*Do most people in your life support your connection? Many people don't like to admit that there is something wrong in a relationship if they think you are happy. It is true, there are always people who will try to test your love and strength to its limits and basically say anything to make you break up. These people generally should be disregarded. People who care for you sincerely will offer helpful feedback if you urgently ask them to be honest. Don't be so quick to defend your lover just yet. Find out what others see in your relationship so that you can come to a resolve or ease everyone's mind. You will succeed marriage if you want to, but it certainly helps to have the support of others. When the forces of everyone in your atmosphere in your life is fighting your relationship, you will either have to tough things out or bleed it to death. Relationships are way more likely to be unhealthy, unstable and unsuccessful if those who love you and sustain you are not on board with your relationship. It's an old idea, but make sure you work to earn the mother and father's blessings when you go to marry. If it takes all day talking about it, get it. If you are sure it will work without their say, then just do what you have to do to make it happen!
*Do you feel right about it? Sometimes we get a feeling about how we feel towards a big decision and we get cold feet. If marriage is supposed to work out, it would. End of story. Sometimes we are shocked by the most high chemistry couples not making it. Sometimes it is the way it is. Even if you are not religious, pray about it. PRAY PRAY PRAY! Prayer makes meditation and soul searching for an answer much easier when you know that you are able to be confident in spending your life with another person. Your soul somehow knows that it will or will not work. Listen to it! It is never wrong.
*Are you ready for marriage? Sometimes it isn't that you don't love someone. Sometimes it is just timing. You need to assess what you need to accomplish before you are comfortable taking the plunge. Are you afraid of kids right away? How about financial concerns? Do the family members get in the way sometimes?You can either wait until you can have your love or find a new love ready to marry when you are. There is no such thing as soul mates. People change-even after marriage. Part of changing with another person after marriage is to become refined together. If you do not want to be a better person and vise versa for a person you love- it may be a failure or a more difficult road to travel. Be certain you are ready for marriage. Who knows? You may never feel ready, but there is a time and you are more likely to succeed if you are careful in considering if either one of you is ready to commit to the oath.
*Are you attracted to each other? It is so hard to force a relationship that is widely transformed into something sexual if you are not attracted to the other person. Sometimes people are scared to admit their physical chemistry with someone because they do not want to be shallow or superficial. However, you cannot force it. There is no nice or politically correct way to say it... It is a fact. You cannot force sex appeal. Make sure that it keeps your marriage going like a well-oiled machine!
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
The Voodoo of Vocabulary
PROCESSED: Anytime we hear the word "processed" in context of another thing, it really matters what that subject is processed with. For example, if I were to say, "The cheese is chemically processed," then go ahead and worry what chemicals that cheese is processed with. It sounds unsafe to consume cheese that is said like, "The cheese is processed." Fear not, the word "processed" is implying that the metaphorical cheese was produced within a routine. A process is basically just a routine production arrangement. Nothing more. If someone suggests you should be scared of consuming anything processed, then further inquire what routine in the production arrangements made the item unsafe. Requesting this information will show you are smart and thoughtful about what is communicated-instead of intimidated into thinking like other people who are afraid of processed foods!
GLUTEN: Gluten is not a chemical that most people should fear. Some people are allergic to seafood, peanuts or strawberries... Then there are people who are allergic to gluten. Gluten is just the naturally occurring substance in many grains used to make breads, pastas, desserts and other goodies-even fruit snacks. Gluten is the substance that holds the food item together. It is sticky and is what helps give bread its texture. If your bread resembles a piece of Styrofoam, it may be listed as "gluten free". Gluten is not harmful or dangerous. Some people are allergic to it, but it isn't bad for you. There is literally no solid proof that says otherwise. Gluten has been eaten for millions of years without consequence, there is literally no reason you should insist on getting items that are "Made without gluten" or "gluten free" unless you are allergic to gluten. Gluten items in a bakery should simply be listed as "highly overpriced bakery items made for highly allergic people who need hypo-allergenic food."
GMO: Genetically Modified Organisms- Another scary mouthful of words! If you every wanted to take the primmest foods or animals and wanted the best qualities of both parents in the offspring, then you yourself are guilty of genetically modifying or changing nature. When scientist want to make a strawberry bigger and richer in vitamins, they may breed that plant with another highly nutritious strawberry plant to create a really healthy and awesome strawberry that would not likely occur in nature on its own. Taking the two best genes in the gene pool and putting them together is not a bad thing, it is making things better by modifying the families that those foods or animals came from. "Genetically modified?" So what! And organisms? Anything that lives is an organism. If someone ever refers to GMO's as "Frankenfood" to sound like "Frankenstein", just remind them that GMO is often making things better than the way they occurred in nature, not worse. When someone says that GMOs are bad, it is probably because they are like the people who fear new technology or discoveries-like people who told Christopher Columbus in the 1400's that the world was flat. Do not be afraid of change. Always learn from it!
CORRELATION: Ah yes, "correlation" is a word to show a relationship of two different things that are similar in one way or another. Correlation is often used to imply a "cause" or a reason for something to happen. If someone ever says that "Correlation is not causation", then they are right! If you need an example, pretend someone says, "All burglars eat bread, so therefore we should ban bread." It is true that all burglars probably eat bread, but that never means that bread causes you to become a burglar. Lots of good people who do not burglarize eat bread. You got to recognize that yes, there is a relationship, but the relationship is not the cause for concern.
LIKELY/PROBABLE: This one should be obvious, but you should still think about it. If something is said to "likely" happen, it doesn't always man that something will happen. Do not confuse a definitive statement with a probable statement. If something "probably" will happen, then it is highly possible, not that it will. Probably allows wiggle room from a person making a final confirmation. If your mother says, "I probably will not go out tonight." She may as well say, "I might not go out tonight." Likely and probable are ways to gauge the chance something can or will happen.
LIBERAL: Freedom! Liberal means you are unrestrained. If you are liberal about something like, butter on popcorn at the movies, then you like to have no limits on how much butter is seasoning your popcorn-complete freedom.
CONSERVATIVE: What a careful word! Being conservative is playing it safe, having boundaries-not completely letting things go. Compare and contrast the word "liberal" with conservative, and you will find that people who define themselves as "liberal" think there should be no rules, while conservatives want rules and guidelines to be safe and protected. Conservative people may be more thoughtful and picky when it comes to making decisions... instead of "letting it all hang out." As you may be able to see, a balance of both these concepts are very important. Some people like safety and will seek for a parent or government to add filters and rules, while liberals would prefer to let anything and everything be available- safe or not. How conservative are you? Depends on the issues for most of us. Take the topic for a child crossing a busy street. Should a child have the rule to cross the busy street with an adult or the complete liberal freedom to cross without the protection of an adult? For people that value freedom above boundaries and rules designed to protect are typically liberal; while people who value protection of boundaries and rules above unregulated, thoughtful freedom will typically be conservative.
DEMOCRATIC/REPUBLIC: "Democratic"-Another word that means freedom! In politics, you have democrats and republicans. Democratic in American government implies that the people have freedom to speak what they want- a "democracy", while republicans are conservatives who like some level of rules.
PRIDE: The word "pride" has so much overlap when it comes to good and bad meanings. Good pride is "I take "pride" in my work", "I am proud of my child." Good pride is typically something of great impression or superiority, something to be happy about. Bad pride is to be vain, cocky, demeaning, and a bully. An example of negative pride is when two ethnic groups think they are better than each other. When a Chinese man prides his intelligence above an English man, it is insulting to the English man who can also be proven very intelligent and not inferior in the slightest. Both are good and not to be putting down one to build the other one up higher.
FORGIVENESS: We all heard the phrase, "Forgive and forget." It is important to not let the wrongs of the past continue to relentlessly pester you and offend. Forgiving is not to say that you have to trust or believe that the offense won't occur again, it just means you are going to let go of the thing that offends. For example, if a little boy likes to eat his sister's favorite snacks, the sister may forgive her brother by opting to not worry about her favorite snack, but she may be wise to not trust her brother not to do it again. Sister might be smart to hide her favorite snack for herself next time so that her brother doesn't keep doing what annoys her. Re-trusting someone is not the same as forgiving. Forgiving simply means "letting go". Trust is a funny thing. Trust takes a lifetime to build, and a second to destroy!
JUDGEMENT: When someone does something wrong, they may say "Don't judge, don't pass judgement." Number one thing, it is impossible to not judge someone. Even the person saying, "don't judge" is judging that other person is or will judge them. If you don't want someone to hold you accountable or to cast blame at you, then do not say, "Don't judge". Learn to say, "Please excuse/pardon me, "let it go", "sorry for the offense" or "please forgive me." instead.
PECULIAR/INTERESTING: Another word with overlap. Neither the word "peculiar" or "interesting" mean anything strange, weird or bad. Frankly, both mean they stand out, are unique, special, rare or one-of-a-kind. While both these words are used to avoid offending when something is bad or awkward, the original meaning of both words are meant to engage attention or to be different.
SENSITIVE: Being "sensitive" means to "really notice". When someone is sensitive, it means they may be able to really notice or be aware of what is going on. When your vacuum is sensitive, it may be able to really notice dirt and debris, while sensitive hearing may cause a headache from to much hearing stimulation. Sensitive is just to be extremely aware.
PATHOLOGICAL: "Patho" is the Latin word for sickness and illness. "Ology" or any form of it is the Latin word for "study or subject or direction of" and "ical" is the ending to put the two words together. If someone says you are a "pathological liar", then they may imply that you are mentally or psychological too sick to be found honest. It's a mean example, but that was the most common expression it relates to. Don't be hard on yourself. After all, it wasn't English they are speaking!
Comment if you have any other words you would like me to clarify.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
"If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry!"
Perhaps you heard the old saying, "If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry." It means that if our wishes were as available as fish, we'd all get what we want. So, if you ever wished you knew how to fish, here is a tutorial about how to be better at fishing-especially for beginners who have never actually gone fishing before! Let's get you the fishes you always wished for. "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." That's the idea.
First thing to know about fishing, is that it really does not matter if you have the most expensive fishing gear, or the cheapest. Most always, the cheap stuff when dealt with carefully will still get what you want. When you go to buy fishing gear, be sure to consider the equipment you will need for the environment and type of fish you aim to catch. For example, if you want to catch river trout in the middle of winter, then you might have to bring something to cut a hole in the ice over the area to which you desire to fish from. If you want to catch sharks, then go to shark infested waters of the ocean. Be sure you have the correct climate conditions for the type of fish you aim to catch.
Second thing that is really important. Make your hook look enticing. The better your bait looks, the more likely you are to fool the fish. a plain hook will not do the trick. Fish tend to look for colorful fish that look healthy-put up a good chase. If your hook sits there like a dead fish, you may never have any luck. Keep casting your hook with the bait and make it move like something alive. The bigger the bait, the larger the fish you chance catching!
Third thing to do is fish in the deep water. Bigger fish that are worth keeping stay hidden, waiting to nibble your lure or hook if you are casting the hook in the deep water. Little fish or baby fish that are not quite ready to be caught, will be nearer to the surface. Some people get in a boat and sit quiet. It is important to be quiet because noise will chase off your fish. Even a little talking can be enough for the fish to hear you and swim away spooked!
Fourth, tie your hook properly or a fish will have a pierced lip and may learn to live that way or unreasonably suffer and die if you do not make sure you hook the fish. If you feel a bite, give the line a little tug to attach the hook, then you can either reel in the fish and net it in as your prize as fast as you can (chancing to lose your fish) or you can slowly let the line out further to trick the fish into believing it has gotten away so that you can slowly reel it in and draw it back to help tire out the fish before reaching the end of your reel. Some people go slowly when pulling in the fish, so it doesn't quickly realize it's caught and get away. Others are really fast and get it taken care of immediately.
Fifth thing to know is when you do finally confirm a caught fish, whack your fish over the head. It's barbaric to let it feel pain. Knock the fish's lights out and thank it for feeding you and becoming a memory to you on a good day out on the lake. You may also catch a really awesome trophy fish which all your friends can be impressed by later! You are killing a fish, but it doesn't mean you have to be cruel and disrespect the life it sacrificed for your pleasure. Knock it out and don't make it suffer a long and painful death!
Why Religion Matters
As a standard, it is important to respect people and their choice of faith (or lack thereof) in the world today. However, choose to have a code of ethics in life-morals to look to. One of the biggest criticisms atheists discuss about religion is how they don't want to be associated with something as controversial as religion and to be caught up in the "cult" of religious and self-righteous organizations. Having religion does not necessarily make you better than any other person. However, why should you have some kind of beliefs? Because it gives you moral ground and better relations with others.
Hypothetically, let us pretend for a moment that there is no such thing as spirits with darkness or light, lack of goodness and evil. Would the world have problems if everything was completely neutral to "good" and "bad"? If you have never been violated and completely neutral to everything, then religion should be of no concern to you. No one to ever live can agree with this hypothetical statement.
One other reason that sums up the whole idea is the belief in a supreme being, deity, God. If you die and you live as though there is no one to answer to-that death is the end; and you find you are wrong, then you will be responsible for the negligent and foolish way you lived. Scary. If you live good and civil through your life and you are wrong, then you lost nothing by living as such. If you are right and you lived a good life- then imagine how grateful you are to play it safe.
Religion gives you healthy gauge for your conscience, a moral code and a meaningful purpose to those who live around you. In today's world, it really doesn't seem to matter if you are selfish in pursuing your happiness or who gets hurt, that religion does not matter. It does. The world would be a better place if we worried selfishly to become better people to ourselves and others. No more belittling of others, no more judging or bullying. However you like to argue, religion motivates you to be a good person. It is "playing it safe", but isn't that better than the humiliation and condemnation to doing otherwise you may inflict upon yourself?
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