Should you get married? You've been seeing someone and don't know if the probability of your marriage is likely to succeed. You reached that point in your relationship when it's make it or break it; what do you do? Ask yourself these questions:
*Is this person making me happy? This one is a hard one for people to answer because they like spending time, but they do not feel good about the person; like an addiction or habit. If the person treats you respect and never abuses you emotionally, mentally, physically, etc. You might just have the one! Can you force that smile off your face when the person on your mind walks into the room? If you can answer "YES", then you are off to a great start!
*Does this person respect their parents, waiters, or elders? If the relationship is sincere, people will let you know. If the person is putting on a show for you-then the people be used will let you know their 'best behavior' is not their normal behavior. We all know that sometimes older people or parents can be pushy and hovering. Perhaps, the bad day the waiter is having can give bad vibes. If you do not see your lover treating the busy working class people as inferior without reasonable cause, then that is a good sign that you found someone sincerely good and not just an actor. If the older people tell you to take care of this person that have known them their whole life, then you found a lovable person worth claiming yours!
*Is this person honest and trusting to you? I'm not saying you have to marry a murderer if you found one, but you want your lover to admit pornography, cheating, and all other such things. It still is a red flag, but it is better to know their tendencies so that they are not tempted to try something bad without your knowledge. It prepares you for the worst that is ahead. Being completely open about flaws is an extremely good sign, and when someone entrusts you with something so personal and sensitive; it means they trust you and want to know that you can help them through. While they need to be good for you; are you good enough to admit what's your flaws? There is no such thing as the perfect person, but there is such thing as the perfect person for you. We are all different, but we can all be complimentary to another person. You've heard the cute little matchmaking phrases like; "We are like PB&J" or "We are like salt and pepper".
*Is there equality in your relationship? You don't get to expect to be treated royally if you don't treat your lover like a royal. End of Story! You get just as much say in decisions as they do. One person may be more convincing than the other, but you have to be able to respectfully compromise and make decisions together.
*Do most people in your life support your connection? Many people don't like to admit that there is something wrong in a relationship if they think you are happy. It is true, there are always people who will try to test your love and strength to its limits and basically say anything to make you break up. These people generally should be disregarded. People who care for you sincerely will offer helpful feedback if you urgently ask them to be honest. Don't be so quick to defend your lover just yet. Find out what others see in your relationship so that you can come to a resolve or ease everyone's mind. You will succeed marriage if you want to, but it certainly helps to have the support of others. When the forces of everyone in your atmosphere in your life is fighting your relationship, you will either have to tough things out or bleed it to death. Relationships are way more likely to be unhealthy, unstable and unsuccessful if those who love you and sustain you are not on board with your relationship. It's an old idea, but make sure you work to earn the mother and father's blessings when you go to marry. If it takes all day talking about it, get it. If you are sure it will work without their say, then just do what you have to do to make it happen!
*Do you feel right about it? Sometimes we get a feeling about how we feel towards a big decision and we get cold feet. If marriage is supposed to work out, it would. End of story. Sometimes we are shocked by the most high chemistry couples not making it. Sometimes it is the way it is. Even if you are not religious, pray about it. PRAY PRAY PRAY! Prayer makes meditation and soul searching for an answer much easier when you know that you are able to be confident in spending your life with another person. Your soul somehow knows that it will or will not work. Listen to it! It is never wrong.
*Are you ready for marriage? Sometimes it isn't that you don't love someone. Sometimes it is just timing. You need to assess what you need to accomplish before you are comfortable taking the plunge. Are you afraid of kids right away? How about financial concerns? Do the family members get in the way sometimes?You can either wait until you can have your love or find a new love ready to marry when you are. There is no such thing as soul mates. People change-even after marriage. Part of changing with another person after marriage is to become refined together. If you do not want to be a better person and vise versa for a person you love- it may be a failure or a more difficult road to travel. Be certain you are ready for marriage. Who knows? You may never feel ready, but there is a time and you are more likely to succeed if you are careful in considering if either one of you is ready to commit to the oath.
*Are you attracted to each other? It is so hard to force a relationship that is widely transformed into something sexual if you are not attracted to the other person. Sometimes people are scared to admit their physical chemistry with someone because they do not want to be shallow or superficial. However, you cannot force it. There is no nice or politically correct way to say it... It is a fact. You cannot force sex appeal. Make sure that it keeps your marriage going like a well-oiled machine!
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