Pain-Saving Parenting

There are a lot of jobs in the world that many swear cause stress, cause annoyances, or frequently wish they could quit.

For many people who have ill-behaved children; you probably sometimes wish that you could return your little angel back to wherever you think they came (Ahem... Heaven or Hell...) and be a lone wolf all over again!

Parenting can be awesome. Many parents-especially those who have been at the whole parenting thing for a while may find it's hard not to lose your temper, know that your patience is being tested, or braved the storms of a tantrum countless times. Sometimes you really don't know what to do, until you know you will probably do something desperate.

Children are naturally curious, and they love to learn. Children like and need consistent parents to teach them what the rules are-the safeguarding principals like: Do not talk to strangers, do not play in the street, or use a tissue to remove boogers-not your fingers. Whatever the rules may be, kids want to be independent because they want to make everyone proud of how grown up they are. Sometimes parents tell their kids "no" and kids will eventually want to learn how to state their wants and refusals as well. They learn to argue or communicate their wants by watching how the people in their environments do it- and even from the earliest of child ages, small babes will demonstrate what they think adults do through play-even if they can't talk, they will mimic the voice fluctuations, personalities and habits they observe from those who are teaching them and raising them all the time.

Magic Tricks (Use as frequently as necessary)

1. Always be consistent. Kids know how to manipulate to get what they want. Once kids are expected and taught to talk about what they want, they play dumb and wait to see how many times you have to tell them not to do something. They know they're cute, and they will use it to advantage. This game ends quickly if you do not play along or plead with your child to make up their mind and just please... please... PLEASE! Stop the whining, screaming and crying! If you create a punishment, always follow through the first time. If they go to time out, enforce it. No bending or waiting.

2. Be stern. Sometimes communicating urgency is in how you say it. Don't overuse the stern voice, but let your kids know that you are the kind of parent that doesn't wait on kids who act out. You are a parent, not a pushover. If a child throws a toy at the wall, take it away and tell them that they can't have that toy for a week. Put it somewhere where they can see, so they can remember why they are being disciplined. If the child doesn't care about that toy, take away another luxury they love... Could be a blanket or doing unpleasant chores.

3. Some parents try to befriend their child and influence them in this fashion. Don't be an idiot, they need another child to be their friends. Kids need discipline when they are naughty. Period. Many parents don't like to play the stern disciplinary parent, until they have lost their own temper and throw the kid over the knee with spankings that turn the butt red. By the way, this is one you should punish yourself if that happens, because that is called child abuse. Do not spank children until their butt is sore.

4. Make sure all punishments are stressed as necessary because mommy or daddy is serious and cares strongly about the child. Show love. Show them that you do not want to make hurt feelings or cause crying or tantrums. If you show lots of love following a disciplinary action to a violation or offense, the child isn't stupid, they will learn to respect you and love you for helping them learn the boundaries that they would be testing to begin with. Appropriate punishments do not involve physical harm or demeaning comments. All punishments should be a removal of a privilege, or the increase in responsibilities-like not attending a play date to wash the dishes or to fold sock mountain in the laundry pile. Like choice life has, there are consequences. Help children understand consequences and why they are there.

5. What do I do if my child is a living monster and you need to fix it? Create rules, structure and consequences. Do not "give chances" or beg your child to say what they want so that you will give them their every whim and demand. Be consistent and stick to your guns. If you tell a child that you aren't driving them to a play date because they broke your favorite lamp, then don't threaten it, do it! If they tear off their clothes, scream, mess their room, or cry about it for 500 hours- stay strong and do not give in. When they calm down, you may help the child start cleaning their mess so they know how to do it, but then expect and require the responsibility for them to clean it themselves. Don't let them have privileges until they do it! There are no reported cases of a child crying itself to death, because you didn't buy the sugar cereal they wanted at the store- keep going and be unwavering. Kids get tired and become very grateful after the tantrums end.

6. When kids are being well-behaved, let them know how you love their grown-up behavior, that they learn to ask nicely for what they want and patiently wait and thank others for what they are given with gracious gratitude. Speak kindly. Avoid offensive language and profanities, and reward your child if you promise them rewards. It's important to always follow through with punishments and rewards consistently. Keep it up, and you will be surprised how quickly the rotten little devil transforms into an angel again! If you have a difficult child that this doesn't necessarily work for, then do not give so many choices or control. Stop asking for what the child wants- Kids with too much power turn into little Nazis. Good luck and happy parenting!

$pendy Trendy $avings!

You work hard for your money. Wouldn't it be nice to live a world where you didn't have to spend so much of it... More to spend later. Ideally everything in a perfect world is free, but then shopaholics everywhere wouldn't appreciate their intense bliss of their shopping habits if everything was entitled to everyone. For those who like to have extra to play with, and get free things, this video is here for your enlightenment. Here is a start of how you can have free things and have more money to play with!

Mindfully Mystic Mail

For all things practical in life or not. Sometimes the mail isn't the top of the list sometimes. This is for the people on Google who want to send a "normal" 1 ounce letter to Europe from the United States. Some people get on www.usps.gov and still may not get a direct answer. So, there is a simple solution. If you do not have the "forever" stamps to put on the envelope which can go to Europe and out of the country- the pricing may be off, and don't forget that you have to weigh everything that goes through the mail! If it must be weighted, then you can either send an extra stamp and perhaps pay more than what the item is worth in forever stamps, or go directly to the post office and they will print the perfect stamp to send to your targeted location. Done and done.  Here is another quick bit of information if you have not read this far down and gotten your answer: https://www.usps.com/international/first-class-mail-international.htm

Now, how about those crazy international addresses? How to list them clearly on the envelope:

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-an-Address-on-an-Envelope

 Bam! You are set!

Ballistic Blinds

Ever have blinds or simple things around the house that just break? Everyone has. The hot item around the house that needs work- are none other than the window shades- AKA, the blinds! So here are some simple, straightforward ways to fix blinds, and also how to better understand the mechanisms and strings attached in the design of your standard blinds-particularly the standard ones that are a little better quality that you might tear off your window and replace for less than $20. I have a great video to demonstrate the most concise technique to understanding these things!

Surprising Food Factoids!

It seems like nutrition and weight advice always changes. If you ever find yourself debating about what foods you should eat, what you already eat or how to know if certain chemicals are harmful, then this video can get you a great start on what you should know about your food and chemicals!

Perspective Paints

Well, the magic perspective of the know-it-all-genie is situated in Utah-more precisely, the Salt Lake City region. If you ever want to see something pretty... or have a vision. Custom murals and painting design can be a reality. I am not paid to promote, I simply recognize a good thing when I see it! View the information below and check it out!

GildedDandelion@gmail.com

801-898-5588

*About Gilded Dandelion

*Ratings

*Facebook

In sickness and in health... or not...

  

Should you get married? You've been seeing someone and don't know if the probability of your marriage is likely to succeed. You reached that point in your relationship when it's make it or break it; what do you do? Ask yourself these questions:

*Is this person making me happy? This one is a hard one for people to answer because they like spending time, but they do not feel good about the person; like an addiction or habit. If the person treats you respect and never abuses you emotionally, mentally, physically, etc. You might just have the one! Can you force that smile off your face when the person on your mind walks into the room? If you can answer "YES", then you are off to a great start! 

*Does this person respect their parents, waiters, or elders? If the relationship is sincere, people will let you know. If the person is putting on a show for you-then the people be used will let you know their 'best behavior' is not their normal behavior. We all know that sometimes older people or parents can be pushy and hovering. Perhaps, the bad day the waiter is having can give bad vibes. If you do not see your lover treating the busy working class people as inferior without reasonable cause, then that is a good sign that you found someone sincerely good and not just an actor. If the older people tell you to take care of this person that have known them their whole life, then you found a lovable person worth claiming yours!

*Is this person honest and trusting to you? I'm not saying you have to marry a murderer if you found one, but you want your lover to admit pornography, cheating, and all other such things. It still is a red flag, but it is better to know their tendencies so that they are not tempted to try something bad without your knowledge. It prepares you for the worst that is ahead. Being completely open about flaws is an extremely good sign, and when someone entrusts you with something so personal and sensitive; it means they trust you and want to know that you can help them through. While they need to be good for you; are you good enough to admit what's your flaws? There is no such thing as the perfect person, but there is such thing as the perfect person for you. We are all different, but we can all be complimentary to another person. You've heard the cute little matchmaking phrases like; "We are like PB&J" or "We are like salt and pepper".

*Is there equality in your relationship? You don't get to expect to be treated royally if you don't treat your lover like a royal. End of Story! You get just as much say in decisions as they do. One person may be more convincing than the other, but you have to be able to respectfully compromise and make decisions together.

*Do most people in your life support your connection? Many people don't like to admit that there is something wrong in a relationship if they think you are happy. It is true, there are always people who will try to test your love and strength to its limits and basically say anything to make you break up. These people generally should be disregarded. People who care for you sincerely will offer helpful feedback if you urgently ask them to be honest. Don't be so quick to defend your lover just yet. Find out what others see in your relationship so that you can come to a resolve or ease everyone's mind. You will succeed marriage if you want to, but it certainly helps to have the support of others. When the forces of everyone in your atmosphere in your life is fighting your relationship, you will either have to tough things out or bleed it to death. Relationships are way more likely to be unhealthy, unstable and unsuccessful if those who love you and sustain you are not on board with your relationship. It's an old idea, but make sure you work to earn the mother and father's blessings when you go to marry. If it takes all day talking about it, get it. If you are sure it will work without their say, then just do what you have to do to make it happen!

*Do you feel right about it? Sometimes we get a feeling about how we feel towards a big decision and we get cold feet. If marriage is supposed to work out, it would. End of story. Sometimes we are shocked by the most high chemistry couples not making it. Sometimes it is the way it is. Even if you are not religious, pray about it. PRAY PRAY PRAY!  Prayer makes meditation and soul searching for an answer much easier when you know that you are able to be confident in spending your life with another person. Your soul somehow knows that it will or will not work. Listen to it! It is never wrong. 

*Are you ready for marriage?  Sometimes it isn't that you don't love someone. Sometimes it is just timing. You need to assess what you need to accomplish before you are comfortable taking the plunge. Are you afraid of kids right away? How about financial concerns? Do the family members get in the way sometimes?You can either wait until you can have your love or find a new love ready to marry when you are. There is no such thing as soul mates. People change-even after marriage. Part of changing with another person after marriage is to become refined together. If you do not want to be a better person and vise versa for a person you love- it may be a failure or a more difficult road to travel. Be certain you are ready for marriage. Who knows? You may never feel ready, but there is a time and you are more likely to succeed if you are careful in considering if either one of you is ready to commit to the oath.

*Are you attracted to each other? It is so hard to force a relationship that is widely transformed into something sexual if you are not attracted to the other person. Sometimes people are scared to admit their physical chemistry with someone because they do not want to be shallow or superficial. However, you cannot force it. There is no nice or politically correct way to say it... It is a fact. You cannot force sex appeal. Make sure that it keeps your marriage going like a well-oiled machine!

The Voodoo of Vocabulary

Have no fear, Know-it-all-Genie is here! Lately, I have noticed there are words that provoke a lot of emotion in people and NEED to be re-defined for those arguing from different angles on all sorts of topics, so let me compile my usual list and hopefully, you will not fear or misinterpret ever again!

PROCESSED: Anytime we hear the word "processed" in context of another thing, it really matters what that subject is processed with. For example, if I were to say, "The cheese is chemically processed," then go ahead and worry what chemicals that cheese is processed with. It sounds unsafe to consume cheese that is said like, "The cheese is processed." Fear not, the word "processed" is implying that the metaphorical cheese was produced within a routine. A process is basically just a routine production arrangement. Nothing more. If someone suggests you should be scared of consuming anything processed, then further inquire what routine in the production arrangements made the item unsafe. Requesting this information will show you are smart and thoughtful about what is communicated-instead of intimidated into thinking like other people who are afraid of processed foods!

GLUTEN: Gluten is not a chemical that most people should fear. Some people are allergic to seafood, peanuts or strawberries... Then there are people who are allergic to gluten. Gluten is just the naturally occurring substance in many grains used to make breads, pastas, desserts and other goodies-even fruit snacks. Gluten is the substance that holds the food item together. It is sticky and is what helps give bread its texture. If your bread resembles a piece of Styrofoam, it may be listed as "gluten free". Gluten is not harmful or dangerous. Some people are allergic to it, but it isn't bad for you. There is literally no solid proof that says otherwise. Gluten has been eaten for millions of years without consequence, there is literally no reason you should insist on getting items that are "Made without gluten" or "gluten free" unless you are allergic to gluten. Gluten items in a bakery should simply be listed as "highly overpriced bakery items made for highly allergic people who need hypo-allergenic food."

GMO: Genetically Modified Organisms- Another scary mouthful of words! If you every wanted to take the primmest foods or animals and wanted the best qualities of both parents in the offspring, then you yourself are guilty of genetically modifying or changing nature. When scientist want to make a strawberry bigger and richer in vitamins, they may breed that plant with another highly nutritious strawberry plant to create a really healthy and awesome strawberry that would not likely occur in nature on its own. Taking the two best genes in the gene pool and putting them together is not a bad thing, it is making things better by modifying the families that those foods or animals came from. "Genetically modified?" So what! And organisms? Anything that lives is an organism. If someone ever refers to GMO's as "Frankenfood" to sound like "Frankenstein", just remind them that GMO is often making things better than the way they occurred in nature, not worse. When someone says that GMOs are bad, it is probably because they are like the people who fear new technology or discoveries-like people who told Christopher Columbus in the 1400's that the world was flat. Do not be afraid of change. Always learn from it!

CORRELATION: Ah yes, "correlation" is a word to show a relationship of two different things that are similar in one way or another. Correlation is often used to imply a "cause" or a reason for something to happen. If someone ever says that "Correlation is not causation", then they are right! If you need an example, pretend someone says, "All burglars eat bread, so therefore we should ban bread." It is true that all burglars probably eat bread, but that never means that bread causes you to become a burglar. Lots of good people who do not burglarize eat bread. You got to recognize that yes, there is a relationship, but the relationship is not the cause for concern.

LIKELY/PROBABLE: This one should be obvious, but you should still think about it. If something is said to "likely" happen, it doesn't always man that something will happen. Do not confuse a definitive statement with a probable statement. If something "probably" will happen, then it is highly possible, not that it will. Probably allows wiggle room from a person making a final confirmation. If your mother says, "I probably will not go out tonight." She may as well say, "I might not go out tonight." Likely and probable are ways to gauge the chance something can or will happen.

LIBERAL: Freedom! Liberal means you are unrestrained. If you are liberal about something like, butter on popcorn at the movies, then you like to have no limits on how much butter is seasoning your popcorn-complete freedom. 

CONSERVATIVE: What a careful word! Being conservative is playing  it safe, having boundaries-not completely letting things go. Compare and contrast the word "liberal" with conservative, and you will find that people who define themselves as "liberal" think there should be no rules, while conservatives want rules and guidelines to be safe and protected. Conservative people may be more thoughtful and picky when it comes to making decisions... instead of "letting it all hang out." As you may be able to see, a balance of both these concepts are very important. Some people like safety and will seek for a parent or government to add filters and rules, while liberals would prefer to let anything and everything be available- safe or not. How conservative are you? Depends on the issues for most of us. Take the topic for a child crossing a busy street. Should a child have the rule to cross the busy street with an adult or the complete liberal freedom to cross without the protection of an adult? For people that value freedom above boundaries and rules designed to protect are typically liberal; while people who value protection of boundaries and rules above unregulated, thoughtful freedom will typically be conservative. 

DEMOCRATIC/REPUBLIC: "Democratic"-Another word that means freedom! In politics, you have democrats and republicans. Democratic in American government implies that the people have freedom to speak what they want- a "democracy", while republicans are conservatives who like some level of rules.

PRIDE: The word "pride" has so much overlap when it comes to good and bad meanings. Good pride is "I take "pride" in my work", "I am proud of my child." Good pride is typically something of great impression or superiority, something to be happy about. Bad pride is to be vain, cocky, demeaning, and a bully. An example of negative pride is when two ethnic groups think they are better than each other. When a Chinese man prides his intelligence above an English man, it is insulting to the English man who can also be proven very intelligent and not inferior in the slightest. Both are good and not to be putting down one to build the other one up higher.

FORGIVENESS: We all heard the phrase, "Forgive and forget." It is important to not let the wrongs of the past continue to relentlessly pester you and offend. Forgiving is not to say that you have to trust or believe that the offense won't occur again, it just means you are going to let go of the thing that offends. For example, if a little boy likes to eat his sister's favorite snacks, the sister may forgive her brother by opting to not worry about her favorite snack, but she may be wise to not trust her brother not to do it again. Sister might be smart to hide her favorite snack for herself next time so that her brother doesn't keep doing what annoys her. Re-trusting someone is not the same as forgiving. Forgiving simply means "letting go". Trust is a funny thing. Trust takes a lifetime to build, and a second to destroy!

JUDGEMENT: When someone does something wrong, they may say "Don't judge, don't pass judgement." Number one thing, it is impossible to not judge someone. Even the person saying, "don't judge" is judging that other person is or will judge them. If you don't want someone to hold you accountable or to cast blame at you, then do not say, "Don't judge". Learn to say, "Please excuse/pardon me, "let it go", "sorry for the offense" or "please forgive me." instead.

PECULIAR/INTERESTING: Another word with overlap. Neither the word "peculiar" or "interesting" mean anything strange, weird or bad. Frankly, both mean they stand out, are unique, special, rare or one-of-a-kind. While both these words are used to avoid offending when something is bad or awkward, the original meaning of both words are meant to engage attention or to be different. 

SENSITIVE: Being "sensitive" means to "really notice". When someone is sensitive, it means they may be able to really notice or be aware of what is going on. When your vacuum is sensitive, it may be able to really notice dirt and debris, while sensitive hearing may cause a headache from to much hearing stimulation. Sensitive is just to be extremely aware.

PATHOLOGICAL: "Patho" is the Latin word for sickness and illness. "Ology" or any form of it is the Latin word for "study or subject or direction of" and "ical" is the ending to put the two words together. If someone says you are a "pathological liar", then they may imply that you are mentally or psychological too sick to be found honest. It's a mean example, but that was the most common expression it relates to. Don't be hard on yourself. After all, it wasn't English they are speaking!

Comment if you have any other words you would like me to clarify.

"If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry!"

Perhaps you heard the old saying, "If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry." It means that if our wishes were as available as fish, we'd all get what we want. So, if you ever wished you knew how to fish, here is a tutorial about how to be better at fishing-especially for beginners who have never actually gone fishing before! Let's get you the fishes you always wished for.  "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." That's the idea.

First thing to know about fishing, is that it really does not matter if you have the most expensive fishing gear, or the cheapest. Most always, the cheap stuff when dealt with carefully will still get what you want. When you go to buy fishing gear, be sure to consider the equipment you will need for the environment and type of fish you aim to catch. For example, if you want to catch river trout in the middle of winter, then you might have to bring something to cut a hole in the ice over the area to which you desire to fish from. If you want to catch sharks, then go to shark infested waters of the ocean. Be sure you have the correct climate conditions for the type of fish you aim to catch.

Second thing that is really important. Make your hook look enticing. The better your bait looks, the more likely you are to fool the fish. a plain hook will not do the trick. Fish tend to look for colorful fish that look healthy-put up a good chase. If your hook sits there like a dead fish, you may never have any luck. Keep casting your hook with the bait and make it move like something alive. The bigger the bait, the larger the fish you chance catching!

Third thing to do is fish in the deep water. Bigger fish that are worth keeping stay hidden, waiting to nibble your lure or hook if you are casting the hook in the deep water. Little fish or baby fish that are not quite ready to be caught, will be nearer to the surface. Some people get in a boat and sit quiet. It is important to be quiet because noise will chase off your fish. Even a little talking can be enough for the fish to hear you and swim away spooked!

Fourth, tie your hook properly or a fish will have a pierced lip and may learn to live that way or unreasonably suffer and die if you do not make sure you hook the fish. If you feel a bite, give the line a little tug to attach the hook, then you can either reel in the fish and net it in as your prize as fast as you can (chancing to lose your fish) or you can slowly let the line out further to trick the fish into believing it has gotten away so that you can slowly reel it in and draw it back to help tire out the fish before reaching the end of your reel. Some people go slowly when pulling in the fish, so it doesn't quickly realize it's caught and get away. Others are really fast and get it taken care of immediately.

Fifth thing to know is when you do finally confirm a caught fish, whack your fish over the head. It's barbaric to let it feel pain. Knock the fish's lights out and thank it for feeding you and becoming a memory to you on a good day out on the lake. You may also catch a really awesome trophy fish which all your friends can be impressed by later! You are killing a fish, but it doesn't mean you have to be cruel and disrespect the life it sacrificed for your pleasure. Knock it out and don't make it suffer a long and painful death!

Why Religion Matters

As a standard, it is important to respect people and their choice of faith (or lack thereof) in the world today. However, choose to have a code of ethics in life-morals to look to. One of the biggest criticisms atheists discuss about religion is how they don't want to be associated with something as controversial as religion and to be caught up in the "cult" of religious and self-righteous organizations. Having religion does not necessarily make you better than any other person. However, why should you have some kind of beliefs? Because it gives you moral ground and better relations with others. 

Hypothetically, let us pretend for a moment that there is no such thing as spirits with darkness or light, lack of goodness and evil. Would the world have problems if everything was completely neutral to "good" and "bad"? If you have never been violated and completely neutral to everything, then religion should be of no concern to you. No one to ever live can agree with this hypothetical statement.

One other reason that sums up the whole idea is the belief in a supreme being, deity, God. If you die and you live as though there is no one to answer to-that death is the end; and you find you are wrong, then you will be responsible for the negligent and foolish way you lived. Scary. If you live good and civil through your life and you are wrong, then you lost nothing by living as such. If you are right and you lived a good life- then imagine how grateful you are to play it safe.

Religion gives you healthy gauge for your conscience, a moral code and a meaningful purpose to those who live around you. In today's world, it really doesn't seem to matter if you are selfish in pursuing your happiness or who gets hurt, that religion does not matter. It does. The world would be a better place if we worried selfishly to become better people to ourselves and others. No more belittling of others, no more judging or bullying. However you like to argue, religion motivates you to be a good person. It is "playing it safe", but isn't that better than the humiliation and condemnation to doing otherwise you may inflict upon yourself?

Fabric Magic (and other cleaning techniques)

Ever wish you could recover some of your favorite things, but still have some annoying stain in it? Perhaps you're willing to try a good stain remover, but it might need a little extra help to finish the job. Regardless, I have compiled a cheat sheet for you when to know how to remove some of the toughest removals. Oxy clean works great, then you have ink in your favorite shirt, pee and blood in your mattress, gum on your couch or candle wax in your carpet. What do you do?

Silk Fabric Stains- Dip rubbing alcohol on a Q-tip or  add a baking soda paste or an instant stain remover pen that you can buy at any dollar store, Walgreens, CVS, Walmart, or basically everywhere... Have a hair dryer handy to dry the tie while you dab alcohol and soak up the stain. Once it dries, if you didn't wipe too much, the color of the tie should be okay and you will no longer need to put a tie clip over the old stain. Always remember that silk will be ruined if you use water. Never use water. If not majorly fade the stain, it will remove it totally. 

Candle Wax Messes- Candle wax can be absorbed onto an old rag and melted off any fabric surface with an iron. The heat of the iron will lift and melt wax to a liquid to absorb from the fabric.

Urine and Blood Stains- After a few times, it should greatly treat old blood and urine stains by color safe bleach or a baking soda paste. Let sit and even dry, then remove. Like new!

Gum- There are a variety of things that gum can really be a bother with. Watch the video to see how you can surface clean anything touched by gum. Flat surfaces with gum stuck on them can be peeled off with a razor blade.

Ink/Paint- Follow the instructions of the video. Blood, Urine and Ink removal all have a similar protocol.

Best Baking Ever

What is the fastest way to cover every meal? Like magic, keep mugs in the house and a microwave. Gemma Stafford has created the most unique, healthy and fun ways to whip up meals in a snap! I found a video to present every meal option as a good introduction. You may also subscribe to her channel to enjoy her other recipe ideas. Again, I am not paid to share this information- it's just nice to pass along anything that is friendly on health, pocketbook, time, easy, expressive and easy on dish-washing loads. Enjoy!

Lose Wait

We all know that everyone has a different metabolism. How can you lose weight fast? For starters, many people don't know that metabolism means your body's rate to which it can process food. If you eat faster and more food than your body can handle, here are some things you might not have thought about before:

1. Stress- Stress increases your body's survival mode to use more food to fight off infection and to keep all your functioning organs in check. If you stress more, some people become hungrier, causing them to eat to keep your body function in great shape. Once you calm down, your body may just be getting comfortable and relaxed- but the signals in your brain may still be wearing off that your body has acquired enough food (energy) and can stop consuming food.

2. Rapid pace- Eating too fast and too much does not give your body enough time to turn the hunger off. If you frequently scarf food on the go to the office job you might be late to arriving at, then you might put on more weight than you wanted to have. You may not be giving your body a chance to burn off the excess caloric and carbohydrate intake if you settle in without proper or natural exercise. 

3. Eating until you are full- Eating to capacity may lead to getting more food to exercise ratio than normal- causing a nasty build-up. If you count your calories that you consume-then run the treadmill the number of calories you consume, you'll see that a small amount of exercise will not sufficiently cover most of the fat-building agents you probably consume.

4. Starving yourself- Eat a regular amount. Most people do not realize that starving yourself makes the bloating worse and the body's survival mode kicks in- causing it to hold on and sparingly burn the excess fat for energy. Starving yourself is dangerous because, assuming that you do drop all the unwanted weight; your body begins to borrow energy and nutrients from other cells in your body to go save your heart and other vital organs. You might as well say "goodbye" to all your muscle tone, brain function, and strength, now that your heart is the last thing that must keep going to sustain your life.

5. "Diet" Sodas are bad for your diet- Most people think that diet sodas and artificial sweeteners do no harm for your weight because they have no calories and no natural sugars. Talk about a scam! Your brain produces a hormone called leptin to indicate when your body has achieved a fullness and apatite satisfaction. Because diet sodas have no actual nutrients- they cause you to eat and drink more, because they do not register to the brain that leptin needs to be released. So your brain doesn't know when to tell you that you are full from your food, because the aspartame and other filler ingredients are going into your body- but your brain can't sense that the artificial diet elements have been consumed to kill some level of your apatite. It's not as tasty or good for you to have diet sodas. If you indulge in a soda- just find one with all the good stuff in it, because you will kill your diet and sacrificing the satisfying flavor for what? That diet you thought you were on? HAHAHAHA 

So now I know 5 basic ways that most people don't know about why weight loss doesn't work. The best way to lose weight is to be patient. There are not any healthy 1 day shortcuts that don't contradict any progress you make with your weight and fitness. Most shortcuts take longer than just patiently and healthily dropping weight. If you want to lose weight fast, think of how much time I saved you to tell you to do it right the first time! Eat healthily and slowly. Don't book yourself to be on the go too much- it hurts your metabolism and your body's ability to process energy. Eat slowly and patiently. Wait for the leptin to give you the apatite-is-reached-signal. Do not avoid eating to lose weight. Avoid diet sodas. Exercise more than the amount of calories you eat. 

Ending or Enduring (Relationships)

For one reason or another, relationships do not work out. Breaking up is not always a bad thing. The beauty of it all is that people can change. Whether you dump someone else or they dump you, all that it means is that you both don't want the same things. Breaking up doesn't mean that love or interest never existed in the relationship, it just means that you can freely go the direction you want and need to go. "What if there is another time and chance for this relationship? Should I stick around or just end it?" Depends on what is going on.

One big challenge in getting over relationships or even worse-marriages that result in divorce, is that the longer committed you are, the harder it becomes to sever ties.  Once there are children in a marriage that becomes inflexible- children of divorcee parents ALWAYS suffer psychological and emotional trauma (even if they seem to be coping strongly with it or not!

 Have you asked yourself, "Is splitting up really appropriate?" Below is a list of things that must occur in order for you to feel mostly understood and even justified for divorce or breaking up:

1. Abuse- Abuse of any kind is not tolerable to you, kids, parents, ANYONE. Any relationship that becomes demeaning mentally, physically, sexually or emotionally. Get out of it! Just when you think you won't get hurt again- it tends to keep happening, even if we do not want to believe it, because we love the other person or we fear what will be lost if you finalize the decision to end it all. Do not allow abuse to continue. Be safe and seek help if your relationship is becoming too hurtful to remain. For more information about your family or domestic violent relationships- try learning more at: www.familiesincrisis.org

2.  Dishonesty- Not to say that good people can't exist in prison- but let that be the last place you look. If anyone is dishonest for stealing or violence; they may not have respect for the law- and eventually you and others too. Misery loves company. If you stick around the wrong crowd- you'll be dragged down with the others and deemed forever an accomplice. Not good for a  reputation you may be trying so hard to maintain with others.

3.  Infidelity/Cheating- Absolutely be firm on this one. A person who is cheated with can't even be sure they won't be cheated on by the same person later. Once a person cheats, you may always be suspicious. Suspicion kills relationships and is not worth attempting if you have a keeper. If you know for certain that the person has changed and won't cheat again, then it is recommended to be forgiving. More often than not, cheating is a repeated and recycled offense, so don't be so quick to let it go. Don't hang it over their heads forever, but if it keeps happening, then by all means- sever ties!

4. Pornography- Pornography is like a combo of all bad things that can go wrong in a relationship. It is like fantasized adultery to which a partner cannot compete with to satisfy sexual impulses, it is rewiring to the brain, leads to abuse, dishonestly, infidelity and can certainly lead to abuse by teaching to only be stimulated by all other wild and kinky ways for the other to enjoy sex and the expense of the other victim of the relationship. All studies that say couples who view pornography together are happier have been proven false. Pornography kills love-without a doubt.

5. Money- If you or the other cannot manage money- then work on it. One of the top reasons for divorce or breakups is due largely to messy money controversies. Learn to be adults and manage money equally. Relationships fall apart when money matters are not discussed and agreed on.

After reviewing these justifiable reasons for ending it, why might you want to endure? For starters, no one knows you better. Generally most people mature and learn as they get older, and hopefully more sensitive, considerate, and smarter. People change. So often, problems are miscommunication and misunderstandings that cause the irritability and frustrations that occur in a relationship. If you are absolutely, positively in a relationship with a person that is unwilling to make sacrifices or changes for you-just as you might be to them- then you deserve to be with someone who treats you the way you treat others.

Breakups never get easier, but making the choice to break up with the right kind of person does get easier. Each time you get dumped or dump someone else, you can start to compile a great list about what you can and cannot negotiate in your relationship expectations. There is no such thing as the perfect person, but there is such thing as the perfect person for you!

Car Care

You may not know much about cars. Like all things in this blog, I may not be able to give you all I know and teach you the ins and outs of everything so simply-so I give you my best simplified version and provide the resources of where you could go to get what you need in its entirety-I just go a step further to one-up a Siri or Google Search! Cars are so vast and complicated, so here are just a list of things that are helpful for all automotive owners to know:

• Buying a newer car and keeping it well-maintained is a better deal than buying older used cars or a new car every year. Trade-ins and leasing don't help you either. Get a new car and make it last more than a decade. Racking up lots of miles and constant abuse depreciates the value of the car more than driving it new off the lot! 
• Having a car in great shape is all in how you maintain it. How you drive is huge! If you are frequently in stop and go traffic, don't tailgate or be intimidated by tailgating drivers. This tip usually goes for Utah, but racing to stop at red lights wastes your fuel efficiency and wears out your breaks stopping fast. Brake pads and other such things are expensive, so coast to smooth stops, and don't race to short stops. Your passengers won't like the heaving and jerking of your petal-to-the-metal foot, and your car will need a lot less maintenance in the car.
• Keep your car fluids up to par. You might be surprised to know how many people drive their cars without changing the oil or running the oil down and will seize their engine. The engine metals melt together because the fluids to keep it cool and lubricated are  in the car. Try to not wait longer than six months to have a full-body assessment on the car. Also do your research so car repair places do not cost you more money in addition to refilling the fluids.
• Do not run your tank below a quarter tank with fuel. Waiting until your tank reaches empty can pick up the debris found in the bottom of your fuel tank will run through the engine and repairing your fuel pumps is pricier than your regular check-ups to change your oil, batteries or fuel filters. You might be wondering, "How does debris of any kind get in my fuel tank?" Valid question. No fuel from your gas station is pure. Sand and pieces of little things can get in. Driving to the low portion of your tank will pick up the little rocks, sand and other things in the fuel and run it through the engine and damaging it while you drive, bit by bit.
• Choosing the appropriate fuel. Most of the time your Owner's Manuel will tell you what to use. Diesel fuel in a regular car can be bad or premium in a diesel engine. Do NOT do this. It will ruin the engine instantly and siphoning the fuel tank is required stat! Use the right fuel. If you have the choice between regular and premium fuel- the only thing you must know in choosing between these options is that the premium fuel burns better and cleaner. Regular gets you there just as well, but it leaves a little more residue behind and a little friendlier to your wallet. 
• Know some of your basic noises. If the car sounds like a jet plane and is loud- you have a hole in your muffler. If your axle isn't off but the drive feels off balance, the clunk noise is possibly a lump in your tire. Do not ignore these warnings! If you hear something that sounds like paper stuck in a fan, it is probably your brakes are becoming worn down. It will scream loud when they won't work anymore. If your car squeals or sounds higher pitched when turning your steer wheel, get your steering fluid filled up and the leak fixed. If your car revs and revs, there is a starter issue that could be influenced by something as minor as a sensor, but will still cost money because it is so annoying for your mechanic to fix.
• Mechanics and dealers are developing more and more of a monopoly on cars because they already know people are vulnerable to not knowing about cars, but now the newer cars are all closed off-requiring a professional to fix the more and more modern cars. There will be a day when people who like fixing cars will not be able to do it at home anymore. The more you know about cars, the more liberating it will be when your mechanic requires you pay their time and repairing techniques.
• Go to all different dealers to see all your options. Sometimes it is hard to leave the dealer without a new car, but you can start to tease apart the market, sales gimmicks and lies you may be told when specific salesman will say whatever it takes to have your business. 
• Ask lots of questions. Be the annoying customer to the annoying salesman. You need to make informed decisions; you're buying a car, not a pair of shoes. If you ask lots of questions, negotiating a lesser price becomes easier. I recommend checking out Car Max first. Car Max does not negotiate prices, so you can take home a car, drive during your "cool off period"/five days to another dealer and ask them if you are really getting the best deal. Again, Car Max won't drop their offers to win the sale, so other salesman will compete to get the sale Car Max was going to give you. 

Dealing with Infertility

Every now and again, I think it is important to discuss issues that effect everyone. I live in an area where people dwell on the significant responsibility it is for adults to bare and raise children. If you do not have children, people won't be able to help themselves, "How many children do you have?" How does this impact those who are unable to conceive? 1 in every 6 couples experiences relentless infertility, which can be a real hard topic for those who want to deal with it, but can never escape the sideways glances of the parents with the minivan full of kids to the young couple who may not always verbalize the judgment and hurt they may feel- but must endure anyway. Even unintentional alienation may occur, and so for all those who may walk around looking at all the terrible parents who accidentally conceive, while a striving couple may spend thousands of dollars on medical treatments to correct the problem of not having the children they want to have, I have compiled a list of things that may help you or a loved one to cope with the pain you feel when dealing with this illness.

1. Be sensitive: It doesn't matter what anyone says, not being able to have children is more painful than dealing with the loss of a child- Infertility denies you opportunity and impacts your health and happiness. Infertility is arguably the most painful struggle a person can have. Don't make jokes of it or play it down.

2. Do not take your kids for granted or offer them as a consolation prize when they are testing your patience. Infertile couples may be hurt that you act that way about a blessing you have.

3. Do not keep suggesting that if you have children- that your life would be complete without children. Often times, couples pretend or say they do not care about not having kids, because they are trying to accept the fact that everything they do from additional church service to having a surrogate or IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) hasn't worked. Let them cope.

4. If someone does not appear to have kids, they probably don't. Good parents are really proud of the children they bring to the world. If you find out you're pregnant on April Fools Day, just wait or be serious. People who joke about being pregnant on April 1st and are not pregnant need to get a brain. This is a turn-off for everyone who lives and breathes that joke. Joking about having to deal with something you don't have, is just as awful and claiming someone was hurt or killed on April 1st. Be classy and realize that people who have kids really do let you know they have them.

5. Do not treat someone like they are too young or unable to understand the challenges of parenting because they do not have children. Some parents can be no match for their dealings with children than the infertile school teacher who deals with way more than just your one kid.

6. Do not act like babysitting is a special treat for those who don't have the opportunity of having their own children.

7. Don't pretend being a parent makes you an expert on kids, because someone else does not have kids.

8. Don't assume that those trying to have kids haven't tried everything they can to succeed having children- religiously, medically or any other means.

9. Don't assume that if you get pregnant that all infertile individuals will hate you or not want to celebrate with you the good news. Just because other people are not as fortunate to have their own kids, doesn't mean they cannot be really thrilled for your success in getting pregnant too. 

10. Jealousy happens every now and again, but one of the hardest things about infertility is the emotional struggle that is felt when people pity you so much that they treat you different- like a wounded bird that should always be dwelling on its broken wing and incapable of flight. A majorly cool ability in life is the ability to reproduce; not being able to is like being born without a large portion of your purpose-treating people inflicted with infertility is like the cherry on top to further punishing them for not being able to.

11. Don't tell infertile couples that you are choosing not to have children so that you can play and go on vacations for the rest of your life- or further suggest they should do the same. The most disgusting thing about being this selfish about your livelihood- is the fact that such people try to convince you that the loss you feel being infertile shouldn't feel like a loss at all or that it isn't real. Children do test patience, but they are only as good as they are raised, and they are a joy to the lives of who they go to. So often, accidental pregnancies occur, and the parents feel their life is enriched at the unplanned parenthood they ended up having. Don't bash children to people who love them.

12. Do not keep telling young people that they have time. No one gets any younger and infertility does not get easier when you downplay the urgency and desire young people have when they want to be parents.

13. Tell those you know struggling to get pregnant that they are so good with kids when they watch your kids and help them to feel like their abilities to be beneficial for children still makes an impact- even if they are unable to have their own kids.

14. Listen and be sensitive to people who are incapable of children when most of the best medicine is to just be a therapeutic listener. Be loving and don't treat them any less than a respectable adult when it comes to them needing to vent a bit. If way too much complaining about infertility results, then lessen the conversation. Infertile couples hurt more to dwell on the problem, and you probably don't want them playing on your sympathies toward them too much.

15. Encourage adoption after foster parenting. If money is an issue, then let them know that it is okay to wait a little while to build their funds for the purpose of having children.

16. If you believe in prayer, pray for those who you would like to see bare and raise a miracle. 

17. Do not share actual conceiving advice, unless you come from a profession that knows the ins and outs of common fertility problems. If you are a doctor, massage therapist, nutritionist or even a gym teacher; you might have a little merit to share your opinions. Unless you absolutely know you are right about something, don't share it. 

18. Getting fertility advice offers hope. If you think someone has too much despair, then offer them hope. However, some couples just want to know for certain if they should allow for hope without disappointment, or if they should cut their losses and cope with the fact that they may never get their own kids. Be careful about getting someone's hopes up about having children.

19. Most important of all; just be a friend to those wanting kids and not having them. Don't treat them like the swim-less fish they feel like, just treat them like you would everyone else who does not have the problem that infertility can be.

Things to try to succeed conceiving:

• Healthy diet and exercise
• De-stress
• Meditation
• Study Infertility
• Join a support group
• Massage Therapy
• Self-Hypnosis or CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)=Positively re-frame negative thinking.
• Acupuncture
• Work hard
• "Nesting"-Preparing and knowing 100% that you are ready to sustain a child abundantly and adequately. This includes parenting classes and emotional coping skills.
• Pray
• Seek advice from a fertility doctor and take notes in your appointments. Bring questions each time too.
• Share your findings, if you eventually see progress or somehow get pregnant after being infertile fo so long.
• Learn what your body needs and be sure your lifestyles or habits are in no way hurting your chances of succeeding pregnancy. So much as a weak immune system from allergies or having any amount of caffeine or alcohol can prevent success.
• Be strong and hopeful. Once a natural balanced healthy life is achieved, pregnancy may come as a surprise.
• If people ask why you don't have kids, just be calm and polite. Be happy that people like you enough to want your spawn running all over the place! Just reply things like, "If you see a stork, let us know.", "We are awaiting the privilege.", or even "Not yet." People tend to sense it and leave it alone. People do not always realize there are people who can't. Don't be a jerk and make them feel bad for asking or seem put out that they would ask. It's much easier to be polite than to always play a victim card.